Mocking too nerdy gripes on "simulator" accuracy, sharing some real world experience with physical things beyond the screen frames, and on in the same vein.
A breath of fresh air, really, in the prevailing AI smog.
bicx 58 minutes ago [-]
People here seem a little confused. This is a simulator in the same way Goat Simulator is a simulator. It’s from a collection called “screen toys” and it’s meant to be mindless fun.
binoct 45 minutes ago [-]
Here here. This was a joy to wake up to and wish I hadn’t stumbled into the comments.
MatthiasWandel 1 hours ago [-]
Looks like its coded by someone who has never split firewood.
The challenge is not deciding where to split, its executing the split. Like hitting the same gap if it doesn't split, deciding orientation to aoid knots, figuring out how to put it on end if it wasn't cut straight.
And some of the cuts it allowed me would hit the ax handle on another part, the shock from that damages the ax handle and is painful on the hands.
And then there's the lifting the stuck block by the axe and hitting it axe side down to finish the split instead of pulling the stuck axe out.
So the simulation handles none of the challenges of splitting wood.
bsiverly 48 minutes ago [-]
I swear this forum needs to embrace their inner child more some days. My four year old loved this.
Well executed fun.
Jgrubb 17 minutes ago [-]
Yes, but obviously this toy faces a challenge when folks who take this stuff seriously walk by. I immediately want a bungee to put around it so the wood doesn't go everywhere. I also want to split it finer than in quarters. Had to nope out.
Daub 3 minutes ago [-]
Experienced wood splitter here. All your points are valid. I had to ruin one perfectly good axe handle before I learned how to swing. However, the sim is still a lot of fun.
PufPufPuf 47 minutes ago [-]
The "beer drinking simulator" we all had on our phones in 2010 wasn't a very accurate representation of drinking beer either
mikestew 30 minutes ago [-]
Man, don’t ever play Goat Simulator, then. You’ll be all day typing a wall of text about that.
nik282000 48 minutes ago [-]
I am shocked that tapping a touchscreen is nothing like splitting wood with an axe.
sgarrity 10 minutes ago [-]
I might print out this quote and put it on my wall! :-)
"Looks like its coded by someone who has never split firewood. "
raincole 36 minutes ago [-]
FYI Tree Simulator is coded by someone who has never been a tree too.
bot403 30 minutes ago [-]
Oh you guys are all gonna hate Sim Ant.
andix 48 minutes ago [-]
It's obviously not an accurate simulation. I'm sure the creator knows it isn't. Probably the best they could come up with in limited time.
JKCalhoun 40 minutes ago [-]
"So the simulation handles none of the challenges of splitting wood."
Ha ha, that's why we like it.
idiotsecant 41 minutes ago [-]
I don't know if you know this or not, but this is a game.
sklargh 2 hours ago [-]
If this triggers your interest in IRL firewood splitting it’s a very meditative and satisfying yard job. Also great mild to moderate workout between the splitting and stacking, especially on a crisp Fall afternoon.
delichon 2 hours ago [-]
I have a lot of splitting to do right now, and you're welcome to it. I'll only charge a low nominal fee. But let me know before September, because that's when I usually go rent a hydraulic splitter from the local hardware store. Then I spend a very long day splitting so that I can return it the next day.
I've spent a lot of time splitting with a big maul, but for me it's harder that it looks. I've broken two mauls by striking to far. And even with "soft" wood, I have stacks of green rounds that I couldn't split at all, the maul just bounces off. But I'm glad that you enjoy the process, I'd probably enjoy watching you work.
bee_rider 1 hours ago [-]
If the hydraulic splitter could be electric, so it would not be so loud, I could see that task being meditative. Preferably if the rounds could on a raised platform, so they could just be rolled onto the thing.
Next request, the wood could stack itself somehow.
adm4 1 hours ago [-]
as camping is to "glamping," splitting wood is to "sprinkle wood?"
1dontnkow_ 1 hours ago [-]
This reminded me when we I was a kid we had to split the wood for the whole winter and that was actually a huge job all day or few days and way harder than just a moderate workout.
I hated it then but actually now I miss the time I spend with my father and brother.
crimsonnoodle58 2 hours ago [-]
Good workout and satisfying, I totally agree. I actually really enjoy it.
But the long term effects on your joints, even if you think you have perfect technique, its better to just get a wood splitter. We can do a whole winters wood in less than a day now, with minimal effort.
nickstinemates 1 hours ago [-]
Taking a few minutes out of the day to to split some logs to hear your house for your family feels incredibly rewarding and satisfying.
PyWoody 2 hours ago [-]
If you're chopping wood in the Fall, I sure hope it's for next year's winter.
codemonkey-zeta 1 hours ago [-]
Nope, splitting green wood is much more difficult than splitting dried logs, so I often cut a tree in the spring, stack the rounds, then split those rounds in the fall.
People overestimate how dry wood needs to be to burn correctly. Just have some ultra-dry kindling (seasoned for 2+ years) and you won't have any problems.
On the contrary, I know some folks who let all their wood dry too far, and it burned way too hot and ruined their stove (and almost burned their house down).
PyWoody 5 minutes ago [-]
Yikes. I hope you got your chimney swept annually.
Seasoned firewood will burn cleaner, longer, and more efficiently.
cluckindan 27 minutes ago [-]
It’s an equation. If you have dry firewood, you need less of it at once. Some folks don’t understand that.
More water in the wood means less efficient combustion, more smoke and harsher smoke, which may irritate your neighbors downwind, or everyone around on still days.
Jgrubb 15 minutes ago [-]
[dead]
astura 2 hours ago [-]
Don't listen to this noise; it fucking sucks, it's kinda dangerous, and it's not at all meditative. It's the exact opposite of meditative. My parents made me do it because they certainly didn't want to, because it sucks. I'm so glad I don't have to split firewood ever again.
If you're looking for a meditative exercise try yoga.
klibertp 1 hours ago [-]
Well, it's the kind of "meditative" you get when training martial arts forms. It gets good after a few years of preparation; before that, it's not as fun as spars and way less useful than general conditioning.
Coming from a kendo background, when I had to chop firewood for a few years while living in the countryside, I generally focused on accuracy. The swing is completely different than with a sword, and getting the chop to land at the exact spot (I drew lines with a marker) tens of times in a row was very satisfying, but required a lot of conscious effort to get there. It's not trivial to land a chop at the exact spot you want, and it's also quite hard to ensure the axe travels at its fastest exactly at the moment of impact.
It can be fun, but you need to be into things like that in the first place; plus, having to do it no matter the weather and all the other things you need to do can kill all the joy instantly.
bee_rider 1 hours ago [-]
It’s also astonishing how much wood needs to be split, to heat even a moderately sized house. Depends on the climate though, I guess.
dredmorbius 55 minutes ago [-]
And the fireplace / stove.
Most open-hearth fireplaces are tremendously inefficient, not only sending most of the heat up the chimney, but drawing in additional cold air in doing so.
A masonry stove with an external air draw should be far more efficient, and burn much more cleanly to boot. The pollution factor from woodstoves is another major consideration, and means wood-burning is limited in many areas.
AaronAPU 59 minutes ago [-]
You sound like my father when someone mentions green beans
comrade1234 2 hours ago [-]
Half the battle is having the right stance so that you don't accidentally embed the axe in your shin.
oh_my_goodness 12 minutes ago [-]
I'm ok that they left that part out.
yardshop 2 hours ago [-]
The pieces look like they retain the shapes I cut them in when stacked. I started cutting them as pie slices, but then tried a few as parallel chops, and they get stacked in those shapes.
Also interesting is the shadows of leaves that stay consistent on the scene as the pile grows, but they don't appear on the splitting area itself.
Lots of engine noise too, I guess that's the ambience in this person's back yard! Probably true for lots of us.
nZac 2 hours ago [-]
This simulates a person far more skilled than me.
I never had to adjust the chunk to get it to sit right, the maul hit exactly where I told it to, and it even stacked itself!
bluGill 2 hours ago [-]
Never had the maul get stuck in the wood. Never had the wood fly off the splitting stump.
oh_my_goodness 12 minutes ago [-]
It does fly off sometimes in the game.
davidee 13 minutes ago [-]
Missing the splitting axe getting a little jammed at a knot.
Otherwise excellent.
Icons8 1 hours ago [-]
That was a satisfying part of my day. Thank you.
mac3n 46 minutes ago [-]
Nothing beats coming home from work, chopping something into pieces, and setting it on fire.
1e1a 59 minutes ago [-]
This is fun and looks amazing, however there seems to be quite a bit of texture in the out of focus blur. There's also a lot of aliasing on the grass. Also, I think the camera shake could do with a very slight delay after the axe hits, and maybe a slightly slower decay curve.
ab_goat 2 hours ago [-]
What about when you’re splitting a log with a branch and the maul bounces straight back up? Lol
ab_goat 2 hours ago [-]
Beautiful sim. Looks like red oak. As someone who has split a lot of wood, wish it could incorporate more of the struggles of splitting logs.
- missing your spot by 6” or more and creating a tiny shard that goes flying
- the log you’re aiming at falling as you are in your backswing
- getting your maul stuck halfway down the split
andwur 2 hours ago [-]
Could do with a difficulty setting that includes when you inherit someone else's log pile, someone who really enjoyed making every cut on a new and more inventive angle than the last.
Normally a wedge is used to split the wood, but it also doubles as a wedge to be wedged underneath just so you can get the log to stand up.
Also, Y sections (ycombinator mode?). 40 hits later and you might have a nice pile of woodchips, very rarely will it actually split in any clean way.
neogodless 2 hours ago [-]
Yeah this needs pieces with knots, and having to swing at least 3 times before the initial split works. Very unrealistic, 3/10. Need some wedge + sledgehammer modes.
Also how do I simulate my shoulder and lower back hurting?
bee_rider 42 minutes ago [-]
With your additions, it probably could be a really neat mini game to have in a survival-crafting game... Game, so, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
But the axe could wobble a bit, depending on some combination of chopping skill and how tired your guy is (simulating shoulder pain and lower back pain). Number of hits required depends on character strength and how straight on the hits are.
I’m not sure how the game would track the pieces of various sizes, though. I guess this would just be for firewood (building wood might have to be handled separately) so maybe it would be fine to just calculate the volume of each slice and have it provide fuel based on that…
jojobas 2 hours ago [-]
You'll like Spintires.
KronisLV 1 hours ago [-]
And MudRunner and SnowRunner as well! Great games (in a sometimes frustrating way).
cinntaile 1 hours ago [-]
It bothers me that I can split a log in 3 parallel pieces, rotate 90 degrees and then magically can split the middle piece. That's physically difficult!
Besides that it was fun.
2 hours ago [-]
adm4 55 minutes ago [-]
great game and very satisfying.
blackdogie 2 hours ago [-]
That was a fun work out. I was wondering what happened when you "filled" the circle of firewood.
ralfd 2 hours ago [-]
What happens?
kevmo314 2 hours ago [-]
It starts stacking a second circle
oytis 1 hours ago [-]
Does it ever end though?
cluckindan 25 minutes ago [-]
No, and that’s what makes it a proper simulator.
traceroute66 1 hours ago [-]
Fun but hugely unrealistic simulation, so many "bugs":
- Able to split log into unrealistically thin slices and they remain perfectly upright
- Split a log into two, rotate 90 degrees, and by some miracle you can split the half further away from you whilst the piece nearest to you doesn't get hit or move an inch
etc.
blueaquilae 1 hours ago [-]
You don't understand don't you?
MBCook 2 hours ago [-]
This works amazingly well on my iPhone with obvious touch controls.
Very impressive.
Waterluvian 2 hours ago [-]
I need a fireplace or bonfire simulator that I can throw these into.
alansaber 2 hours ago [-]
The momentum on the camera spin is very annoying. Really cool though
tharkun__ 2 hours ago [-]
That and the fact that you can rotate w/ left click as well. Turns out I naturally drag the mouse a little. So having rotate on right click only would be way less annoying, especially when combined with the momentum.
albumen 24 minutes ago [-]
But then it wouldn’t work on a touchscreen, and it wouldn’t go viral.
makach 45 minutes ago [-]
I spent too much time on this.
daakni 3 hours ago [-]
Feels very satisfying
olalonde 2 hours ago [-]
Honestly I'm more fascinated by the grass around, but I haven't played games in a long time.
hagbard_c 2 hours ago [-]
Nice sim, there's one thing missing though: splitting two sections at the same time. It do this all the time as it can almost double splitting speed when dealing with mid-size logs. Split the log in two halves, making sure to keep the halves close together. Rotate around the splitting block by about 60°, split again hitting both halves at the same time. Do this once more and you've split the log into 6 60° sections, a good size for stacking in the fireplace and also a good section size to be able to light a fire. I split between 5 m³ and 7 m³ of firewood per year which is enough to heat our house and cook our food, have been doing this for about 20 years now so I have some experience. The double-split is a good time saver.
ETH_start 1 hours ago [-]
Quite realistic. Could be more realistic still if you could chop two blocks at once.
KillerRAK 54 minutes ago [-]
good exercise!
kubasienki 1 hours ago [-]
Very infuriating, why does it rotate when i want to split it thinner
stevenalowe 4 days ago [-]
Very cool sim!
horticulturist 3 hours ago [-]
[dead]
__xwd__ 4 days ago [-]
[dead]
cody_ellingham 2 hours ago [-]
Chop wood, carry water.
mehtablr 2 hours ago [-]
Its same as dbdiagram, what's new in this?
Rendered at 15:35:28 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time) with Vercel.
Mocking too nerdy gripes on "simulator" accuracy, sharing some real world experience with physical things beyond the screen frames, and on in the same vein.
A breath of fresh air, really, in the prevailing AI smog.
And some of the cuts it allowed me would hit the ax handle on another part, the shock from that damages the ax handle and is painful on the hands.
And then there's the lifting the stuck block by the axe and hitting it axe side down to finish the split instead of pulling the stuck axe out.
So the simulation handles none of the challenges of splitting wood.
Well executed fun.
"Looks like its coded by someone who has never split firewood. "
Ha ha, that's why we like it.
I've spent a lot of time splitting with a big maul, but for me it's harder that it looks. I've broken two mauls by striking to far. And even with "soft" wood, I have stacks of green rounds that I couldn't split at all, the maul just bounces off. But I'm glad that you enjoy the process, I'd probably enjoy watching you work.
Next request, the wood could stack itself somehow.
I hated it then but actually now I miss the time I spend with my father and brother.
But the long term effects on your joints, even if you think you have perfect technique, its better to just get a wood splitter. We can do a whole winters wood in less than a day now, with minimal effort.
People overestimate how dry wood needs to be to burn correctly. Just have some ultra-dry kindling (seasoned for 2+ years) and you won't have any problems.
On the contrary, I know some folks who let all their wood dry too far, and it burned way too hot and ruined their stove (and almost burned their house down).
Seasoned firewood will burn cleaner, longer, and more efficiently.
More water in the wood means less efficient combustion, more smoke and harsher smoke, which may irritate your neighbors downwind, or everyone around on still days.
If you're looking for a meditative exercise try yoga.
Coming from a kendo background, when I had to chop firewood for a few years while living in the countryside, I generally focused on accuracy. The swing is completely different than with a sword, and getting the chop to land at the exact spot (I drew lines with a marker) tens of times in a row was very satisfying, but required a lot of conscious effort to get there. It's not trivial to land a chop at the exact spot you want, and it's also quite hard to ensure the axe travels at its fastest exactly at the moment of impact.
It can be fun, but you need to be into things like that in the first place; plus, having to do it no matter the weather and all the other things you need to do can kill all the joy instantly.
Most open-hearth fireplaces are tremendously inefficient, not only sending most of the heat up the chimney, but drawing in additional cold air in doing so.
A masonry stove with an external air draw should be far more efficient, and burn much more cleanly to boot. The pollution factor from woodstoves is another major consideration, and means wood-burning is limited in many areas.
Also interesting is the shadows of leaves that stay consistent on the scene as the pile grows, but they don't appear on the splitting area itself.
Lots of engine noise too, I guess that's the ambience in this person's back yard! Probably true for lots of us.
I never had to adjust the chunk to get it to sit right, the maul hit exactly where I told it to, and it even stacked itself!
Otherwise excellent.
- missing your spot by 6” or more and creating a tiny shard that goes flying - the log you’re aiming at falling as you are in your backswing - getting your maul stuck halfway down the split
Normally a wedge is used to split the wood, but it also doubles as a wedge to be wedged underneath just so you can get the log to stand up.
Also, Y sections (ycombinator mode?). 40 hits later and you might have a nice pile of woodchips, very rarely will it actually split in any clean way.
Also how do I simulate my shoulder and lower back hurting?
But the axe could wobble a bit, depending on some combination of chopping skill and how tired your guy is (simulating shoulder pain and lower back pain). Number of hits required depends on character strength and how straight on the hits are.
I’m not sure how the game would track the pieces of various sizes, though. I guess this would just be for firewood (building wood might have to be handled separately) so maybe it would be fine to just calculate the volume of each slice and have it provide fuel based on that…
Very impressive.